We all Feel and Share this Loss...

Starting this blog is so soothing and comforting. The best result I witness from the blog is that my friends now feel comfortable talking to me, which is something I wish they were doing this whole past year. I want to share with you several experiences that were similiar this last week.

One of my friends stated to me that it was difficult for her to deal with Amberlee's death because she was pregnant, and she was so close to her. She has a hard time discussing it, and she cannot deal well with the emotions that come up because of Amberlee.

Shortly after talking to this friend I asked another friend why she never holds Riesse. I was shocked to hear when she said I am afraid that I will hold her and a week later you will call me and tell me she is gone. She then described to me how vividly she remembers the last day she held Amberlee, and then the following week, she was gone. So I took Riesse and handed her to my friend and told her that that would not happen, and we all need to move forward. She looked beautiful holding Riesse, and I believe it was very comforting.

Then only a couple days later I mentioned how shocked I was by these stories to yet another friend and she floored me as well. She told me she has not held any baby since Amberlee passed away.

I am so sad that I didn't realize we all hurt so bad. I know that people are grieving like I am...my sister allowed me to realize how bad she hurt shortly after this happened. I want you all to know that it takes a village to raise a child. That statement is so true. This week I learned that I don't understand how much my life affects others, and I really need to be sensitive to that. It really isn't surprising that everybody affected by Amberlee would be struggling over her sudden and tragic death. She is a sweet story that began...but will never finish in this lifetime.

I hope you know that you can all talk to me. I would appreciate it. If you are having a bad day call me. Interestingly I am afraid to call people when I am hurting because I don't want to make them suffer like I do. I would welcome someone calling me to tell me they miss her...or that they are angry she is not here...whatever. I am always here...and I am always willing to talk about life. If it becomes too much for me then I'll tell you...but I simply wish that we can all work together to get through this. We all feel and share this loss...