I thought that this was strange and I wanted to share. Of course I had to call at least a dozen people after this happened, to make sure I wasn't evil or crazy. Now that I know for sure, I can share this story with you.
A few weeks ago, a friend came to pick me up. She mentioned that another friend of mine, well her baby had drown that morning. Apparently the baby was going to be o.k., but she was in the hospital. Of course, that is where we went immediately.
I sat in the hospital room with my friend, and we talked about what happened. I could see her experiencing all the emotions I felt the day after Amberlee got hurt. It is quite frightening to witness a parent suffer such emotions. Regardless of the fact that her baby was going to be ok...she still felt the trauma of the accident.
The next morning, and even most of that evening I was very upset. I cried so much, and I was so mad and frustrated. Don't get me wrong here...I was happy for my friend...and I was really happy that her baby was ok, and there would be no lasting consequences to her near drowning. However, a horrible emotion stirred deep within me. I couldn't understand why, I couldn't understand how. How does God choose which children he will save, and which he will not? Why did someone notice her baby in time to save her? Why does my friend get to keep her baby, but I had to loose mine. She gets to hug and kiss her baby every day, and see her run and play, but mine is gone for now. Mine is only a memory, for now.
This jealousy ate at me for several days, and every time I look at her, while I am grateful that she does not have to go down this road (I would never wish that on anyone), I am extremely jealous that she is one of the lucky ones. I felt so wrong for having this emotion...I am ashamed to tell my friend, and ashamed that I feel this way. It's the truth though. This is truly the way that I feel, and I've learned to be honest with the way I feel having lost Amberlee.
I hope that this is understandable, most of my close friends that I asked said they were thinking it before I said it. They just didn't want to mention it if I didn't.
Until another time.
Beth
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Mothers in Sympathy and Support
Western Australia, Thanks Carly
Thanks Angie!
Phoenix Children's Hospital
October 15th
"Because life is fragile and death inevitable, we must make the most of each day."
President Thomas S. Monson
President Thomas S. Monson
For Families of Children that die..
Mothers in Sympathy and Support
To Write Their Names In the Sand...
Western Australia, Thanks Carly
I wrote your name on a piece of paper,
but by accident I threw it away.
I wrote your name on my hand,
but it washed away.
I wrote your name in the sand,
but the waves whispered it away.
I wrote your name in my heart,
and forever it will stay.
but by accident I threw it away.
I wrote your name on my hand,
but it washed away.
I wrote your name in the sand,
but the waves whispered it away.
I wrote your name in my heart,
and forever it will stay.
Amberlee's 1st Birthday
My Broken Pitcher
Thanks Angie!
E-Mail Me
Amberlee Elizabeth Brown
This is the story of Amberlee Brown. She was born March 22 2007, and she left our world on June 29th, 2007. She was 99 days old. Please feel free to browse this site, and comment if you wish. To comment, simply click the "words of encouragement" text at the bottom of any post you wish to comment on. =)
Ways to Avoid this Type of Tragedy
- Always Lock Your Cars (avoid entrapment)
- If it happens...Get Help...even if your child is alive, and you think your child is ok...there may be internal injury.
- Memory Trigger, cell phone with baby
- NEVER leave your child ALONE in a car, not even for a second, NOT even for a tiny errand.
- Phone Checks for Routine Changes
Ways To Help Someone Grieving
- Write a Letter, To Show You Care
- Think of a Unique Way to Remember
- Never Say "Move On" They will when they can.
- If you are Inspired, Do it
- Don't Say "I'm Sorry", Feel It
- Send a Card, I'm thinking of You
- Let them talk about it, this can help the most.
- Remember Anniversaries Monthly at First then Yearly
- Remember Anniversaries Birth & Death
- Holidays are important, Mother's Day, Father's Day especially
Education
- 2007 Hyperthermia Deaths of Children (35)
- 2008 Hyperthermia Deaths of Children (42)
- 2009 Hyperthermia Deaths of Children (35)
- 2010 Hyperthermia Deaths (49)
- 2011 Hyperthermia Deaths (33)
- 2012 Hyperthermia Deaths of Children (29)
- 4 R Kids Sake
- OPRAH: An Overwhelmed Mom
- Steven Curtis Chapman Interview, CNN
- Washington Post Article
Scrapbook Page for
Phoenix Children's Hospital
Followers
Angels of Friends
- Aiden Brumback
- Alexis Faith Romero
- Andersen Babies
- Aslynn Ryan
- Audrey Caroline
- Brona Sahala
- Cassandra (Cassie) Hope Starr
- Cheyenne Cacciatore
- Diego VanHuizen
- Eliana Parish
- Helena Lehman
- Isabelle Roo Lundberg
- John Owen Shafer
- Lauren May
- Loren Michiel Keil
- Mizuko & Dakota Jones
- Mya Elise
- Nicholas
- Olivia Parker
- Ruth Rogers
Official Day of Awareness
October 15th
Songs That Speak to My Heart
1 comment:
I am SOOO glad that you were there for me that day Beth. I have thought and thought about what to write here, but just the fact that you came... it meant so much to me (and Andrea). I know how much it took for you to walk into that hospital, not knowing what you were walking into.
And your feelings are perfectly natural. I felt guilty that you had to relive the hurt all over again when you heard about Andrea being in the hospital.
Everytime I hear about a child drowning now, I feel bad for all the other parents who have gone through a drowning (or other loss of a child), because I know what it feels like, and I know that once, I made other parents relive what they went through with their child...
We love you and think of you often,
Tammy
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