"Because life is fragile and death inevitable, we must make the most of each day."
President Thomas S. Monson

Monday, August 24, 2009

A Much Needed Update

I haven't posted on the blog in a long time, and I am sorry for that. Today happens to be the 6 year anniversary of a friend's baby's passing (Alexis Romero), and I have been contemplating Amberlee today. Obviously I miss her every day, and I especially think about what she would be doing. Today is different though.

As I was thinking about her, it dawned on me that since her anniversaries are passed, I am feeling much better. Of course there are days that I feel dragged down, but who doesn't have those days. Sometimes I'll be driving down the road, and a certain song will play on the radio. I'll cry for what could have been, I'll cry just because I miss her; and sometimes I cry because it feels like a piece of my heart has a hole in it. Literally, it always feels that way. Like a space that should be filled, but won't. It is a very unnatural feeling to have lost your child. As I see the others grow it seems wrong that she is not growing with them.

I am happy though. In many ways we are moving forward. I am excited this year to feel like I can volunteer at the school again. I am excited to be involved in the girls' school life again. This is definitely an improvement on last year. There are so many activities that we once did, and haven't done in some time, but we are once again able to take part in them.

One thing that we just can't get past is the heat. This stupid Arizona heat. It tortures us all summer long, and mostly we just want to stay away from it. Kyle and I have nightmares throughout the summer, and whenever someone mentions that they were "cooking" in their car we cringe. It's horrible to hear people say that so often, but it is life in Arizona, and we must endure.

I've devoted a good portion of time to help some friends or friends of friends through similiar tragedies. It is difficult to see someone start this journey, but I am grateful for all those people the traveled the road before me, and offer me advice. There are many parents out there that have lost children, and they all need love and support over time. Time does not make the heart forget unfortunately, it dulls the pain only slightly, and mostly that is just because of experience with the emotions that come. If you know someone that has lost a child, please call them, and tell them you are thinking about their child. Please tell them you are thinking about their baby, and you are there for them if they need you. Alexis' parents made me realize today that even though its been 6 years for them, it still hurts. Never think someone has moved on simply because time has passed. Please offer them love regardless of what you think, might be occurring in their lives at this point.

As always, thanks for listening. Have a wonderful day, and appreciate the blessings that come to you every single day. <3

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