"Because life is fragile and death inevitable, we must make the most of each day."
President Thomas S. Monson

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Sisterhood...& Baby John

After Amberlee left us for heaven not many people would talk about her. Almost Nobody had the courage to come up to me and ask anything about her, or how I was doing. People were simply too afraid to say anything to me, for fear they would hurt me...I desperately wanted to hear it though. I wanted people to hurt me if they must, but just SAY HER NAME!

Well there was one person who did not know me well, but she had the courage to say her name. Easter weekend Ashley was in my ward, visiting family. I recognized her from afar, and I was excited to talk to her as I had not seen Ashley in years. I only heard about her in passing from family members, and I knew some of what Ashley had experienced in life, but not a lot.

I left the main Sacrament Room to sit on a more comfortable couch, I was pregnant with Riesse and uncomfortable. (I am reminded I also needed a snack.) Ashley sat nearby me, she was also pregnant (but looked much better than I). I talked to her a bit, and we remembered each other and caught up a bit. But what amazed me the most is that Ashley asked me about Amberlee. This person, who barely knew me, remembered my daughter, and had the courage to ask me about Amberlee. It meant more to me than most memories of that year, and it still does.

I wish the story ended here, but little did I know, a little over a month later, Ashley would endure the same fate as I...when her soon to be born son was lost all too soon.

I have no doubt in my mind that our meeting was not a coincidence. I am certain that the paths our lives take are meant to lead us to those people that can influence us, or help us to grow. I have no doubt that Ashley was supposed to be in church that day, to tell me what she did, so that I could remember and be grateful to her. Grateful that she was one of the only people that dared to ask about my daughter that she knew was in heaven. I am glad that I can help her to grow through her loss, and I can be here for her because of mine.

I truly believe that this is what is meant by sisterhood. Together we can use our experiences to bring compassion for those that cannot see where this tragedy might lead them. Once I have walked the road alone, I can better hold someone's hand to try and keep them from falling while we travel together toward a happier place.

Thanks a million, Ashley!

1 comment:

Locomoreno said...

That's a powerful story. I definitely think there was a reason that she was there. She helped you be strong and now you can do the same for her.

There's a song I want you to hear. I think of Amberlee everytime I listen to it. It's called "Lullaby for Wyatt" by Sheryl Crow. It's for her adopted son Wyatt and talks about how she wants him to grow up and find love and find his own way...which I'm sure will happen for Amberlee as well. It's written for a living child, but I think it applies to Amberlee as well.