"Because life is fragile and death inevitable, we must make the most of each day."
President Thomas S. Monson

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Jay the Phoenix Real Estate Guy

There is a blog by the Phoenix Real Estate Guy. He made some comments right after Amberlee died, and everyone on the blog followed suit. It got pretty deep seated in hatred. Well I tried to talk to Jay, the Phoenix Real Estate Guy, and eventually it got through. People were so mean, and causing so much trauma to Kyle and I, he shut down the posting, after I posted a rather strong comment against the haters.

Today I got an e-mail in my inbox. It was from that blog again. So often I fear opening these because I never know if the comment is filled with hate or love. This one was filled with love, from somebody that has lost a family member the same way. Her letter follows:

My nephew died the same way. On August 13 2008. He was 3 years old. My mom forgot him in the car. She never took him to daycare before, but this day was different. People hate us. But you know what... Really, we are ok with that. I'd much rather have everyone hate us than to EVER know what it is that we are going through. I cannot get mad or upset with any of them. But you know what... It really hurts to get online and read the blogs of others, those who talk about something that they dont even know about. They say "That grandmother was on drugs" or "I bet she didnt forget her smokes"... To tell you the truth, it could happen to anyone. My mom does not smoke, drink, do any type of drug and she's the kind of person who wont even move the car unless I am buckled in and I'm 21. She is by far the most caring person in the world. She has given everything to everyone. And she still gives. ..

To the family of Amberlee, I am so sorry and I can relate to what you are going through. I remember when I first heard about your story... I judged ya'll. Wrongly, I know that now. How I wish I didnt. But I know now. I'm sorry.

For someone who takes even the best care of their child has the ability to forget. And also... Find a way to make sure you dont forget... I know that there are those out there who say... I know I wont... You know what... Maybe you wont, but does it hurt to have a back up plan?They now have this thing that you put in the baby seat that sends out an alarm to your keychain if there is weight in the seat and you walk away. It could very well save your childs life.

As for us, my family... We are working hard to make sure that this slows. Our goal is to keep kids from dying in car related accidents. Now there are things that we cannot help, but for everything else, we plan to do whatever we can to get the word out. FOR EVERYONE. Even if we save just ONE child, we will have accomplished something. Please everyone Love your babies. And take the time to REMEMBER. And know, Accidents happen... Plan for accidents. Catch them before you make them.

Thank you Nancy, for sending usgood thoughts. I agree with you. I would rather people hate me than to have to go through what I am going through. Ultimately though, I wish they would understand more than they judge.

Love to all!


caitsmom said...

I'm glad someone took the time to send you some love and some understanding. It's so easy to judge, but it takes a truly compassionate person to understand or admit not understanding. ((((hugs)))) I am so sorry.

Beth said...

Dear Beth;

I hope this reaches you well and in high spirits. I came across your blog through an email sent to me from Diana Parker. I was in the hospital with my 5 month old son, who had an MRI done, but needed to stay overnight for observation due to the fact that he was born three months early. There has been many struggles so far but God is Good and I have my faith.

While I was in the hospital, I read Diana’s email, and noticed the address to your blog. I have read so many blogs since my son was born, looking for encouragement and just to see what others are experiencing. We as humans, tend to believe that we are the only ones going through things. So I read the story about Amberlee and as I read post after post, I wept. I know I could not feel your pain 100% but I can definitely tell you that your story moved me to tears and that I was so incredibly touched. I know there is really not the perfect thing to say in this case but I do want you to know that I will always pray for Amberlee and your family, now that I know your story. I always pray for all the babies around the world going through things and those that are not, but I will pray for Amberlee and your family by name along with Olivia, Diana and Paul.

I will make this short. I just felt like I had to write something.

Warm regards,


If I choose to bless another person,
I will always end up feeling more blessed.
~ Marianne Williamson ~

Leesh said...

Wow! Can you please remind me NOT to read this blog at work. I am a crying mess right now. Make-up running and all. I am so grateful that people are willing to share their thoughts with you and that your experience is helping others and inspiring others. You inspire me!

Ebe said...

Hey Beth, I'm a follow MISSister. Just found your blog today...
As if the pain of Amberlee's death has not been enough, it is disgusting that people would intentionally try to make your grief worse. I am so so sorry. There are those IRL and out in cyberspace, who are silent...(I usually am) and who care and do not judge you. It is a shame that the more vocal people in the world are usually the ones who should stay quiet.
I'm so glad this woman took the time to write you and offer you support and encouragement. I wish more people would take a moment and try to understand and send compassion your way, not hate.


Laura said...

I am so terribly sorry for your loss of Amberlee. I have on order two sets of Baby Halo and have been waiting for them to release this product to the market place for a while now. I know that it is all too easy to find ourselves in your position and as you say, the back up plan cannot hurt. I promote the Baby Halo on our foundation website - http://www.kyledavidmiller.org and partner also with kidsandcars.org.

Your daughter is beautiful and I know your heart will be forever broken.