"Because life is fragile and death inevitable, we must make the most of each day."
President Thomas S. Monson

Friday, December 5, 2008

Another Mother's Strength

Every once in awhile I read something from another mother that inspires me on my journey. All stories inspire me actually, but some just hit the right spot in my heart. I am happy to share with you Lisa's Strength. Everytime we think, "Oh, I have it so bad."; evertime we have a pity party. We have to realize that there are others that have suffered more than us. If they can have the strength to move on...than so can we. This is a long and difficult road, but we can walk it togther.

Here is Lisa's Wish for Hope:

My story of Hope. I found MISS in March of 05 right after I lost my 4th child. My son Peyton was born still at 21 weeks from a true knot in his cord. I never knew things like this could happen I have 3 living children and never had any issues with those pregnancies and was in total devastation that something like this could happen to our family. The blame the guilt you name it we lived through it all.

We knew right away that we wanted to try again ASAP and were assured that this was a fluke and chances of another stillborn were very slim so with that information we started trying again. We found ourselves pregnant again in Aug 05 only to miscarry at 6weeks again why me questions but no answers.

So here we go again we had been trying add a 4th living child to our family since 03 with no luck. In April of 06 we were pregnant again around 12 weeks I started bleeding heavy and was sent home from the hospital to miscarry only I didn’t turned out I had placenta previa my Beautiful daughter Lilly was growing strong and right on target. On Dec 6th 2006 I had what would turn out to be my last Dr’s appt.Lilly sounded great and we were scheduled to be induced on Dec 20th My husband’s birthday she was coming 3 weeks early since we lost Peyton my Dr wanted her here as soon as we hit 37weeks . 37 weeks never came 2 days later I could not get Lilly to move I knew in my heart she was gone. Lilly was born still on Dec 8th 2006 at 36 weeks reasons unknown my perfect beautiful rainbow baby gone. How could this happen you told us the odds were 95% that we would bring her home why us again what had we done to have 3 babies die in a row.We buried Lilly 1 week before Christmas my entire family destroyed no reason to go on in my eyes why did my living children need me I had failed their brother and sister and would surely fail them to. Days turned into months and months.We started talking about trying again had we totally lost our minds yes!!!! our hearts and arms ached for another child could we risk losing another child that was a chance we decided to take. 11 months after Lilly died I got that BFP the anxiety started on day 1 I just knew that we doomed that this baby to would die. The weeks went by and baby bean was growing and growing. I had a million Dr’s appt and a Set date to be induced 34 weeks regardless this child was coming even if that meant nicu time.

June 25th 2008 Our Beautiful Son Cooper William was born ALIVE and CRYING I have never felt so many emotions all in one. To hear those cries after 2 silent births was the most amazing sound in the world!!I know the pit that all of you are in right now the despair you are living with but without hope what do we have? I never gave up HOPE when many would have stopped and thier dream would have died with them and now my arms are filled.Please know that one day you to will have reasons to HOPE you will be able to smile again at the little things.All of you are the strongest women I have ever met.Hugs, Lisa

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