All right...I am now asking your opinion because I opened an envelope today and started bawling. This doesn't happen very often...but today it most certainly hit me like a ton of bricks.

Phoenix Children's Hospital is having a "We Remember Them" Memorial Service for all of the children that passed away at the hospital during 2007. They want us to send in a picture, and do a scrapbook page for Amberlee...as well as attend. The ceremony is supposed to promote peace and comfort.

So I am not sure...my thoughts are scattered here. I am afraid that seeing all those parents that lost children might be overwhelming...and most of them will be crying...I just don't know if this is the best thing. Maybe it will help to know that we are not alone. The hospital has done many things to ease our loss, and I am sure that this will be nothing short of amazing...I am afraid to go though. It might be healing...it might be an experience I shouldn't go without. What do you think?

Please comment and let me know what you think, and if you are courageous enough, why you think it.

Thanks.

Difficult to Swallow

So...interestingly...today Riesse is the same age as Amberlee was when she was injured...therefore Tomorrow...Riesse will become older than Amberlee had the chance to become. This morning...I gave Riesse a bath...and she kicked and splashed me significantly...Amberlee did this same thing to Kyle the morning of her last healthy day...I think this is the last challenge...but it is more difficult for me to swallow than even the anniversary of when Amberlee died. I feel like I am re-living the timing...with a different baby. I don't know how to explain it. Just Pray...Please, and if you can...call or hang out. I am trying to be busy to make sure I don't dwell...I keep saying...please help me through this one more thing...and there seems to be more...I am truly hoping this is it.

I love you all... Beth

4th of July, My Favorite...

Yesterday was fun...I even got into a pool with my kids. Independance Day has always been my favorite holiday (and it actually feels like my favorite again)...Riesse absolutely loves the fireworks!!! She really is my baby...because there is nothing better for me than good fireworks. As I was holding her and watching her eyes grow big with every burst of color I became a little teary eyed. I missed 4th of July Fireworks with Amberlee by a little less than a week. Watching the Fireworks with my Family last night was an answer to a prayer. We are actually grasping life again...and enjoying each other and the holidays again. This is the way I choose to move forward...starting with my favorite holiday, counting my blessings one by one. I am excited to Dive in.