On June 29th, we sat in the hospital bewildered, in shock, and restless. Just before dawn the nurses asked us to leave for a bit, they needed to run some tests that we could not be present for. We went to a room that they set up for us, and laid down, hoping to rest just a bit. As I laid down I felt even more restless. I became exhasperated and finally told Kyle I could not sleep, I had to go back to Amberlee. We walked back to the room, and they were done doing the tests, so we sat down and we watched the machines support our sweet baby.
That is when Amberlee spoke to me from her heart. She said You have to let me go. I told her that I would not, I am her mother, it is my job to fight for her, I have to fight for her. She then repeated to me...You have to let me go. This is not me, this will never be me again, you have to let me go. The voice was so mature, and so stern and matter of fact. She would not take no for an answer, but I could feel that she knew how hard it would be for me, and she could not leave until I accepted she must go. Reluctantly I whispered back in my mind, ok, I understand, I can let you go.
Immediately... an all encompassing peace filled the room. Kyle felt it too eventhough he did not yet know what I was experiencing. The peace was so strong that I knew it was ok.. that this is what should be.. and then I felt her leave us. She was gone...we could see a change in her body as it lie there on the bed...there was no doubt she was not there anymore.
Only a slight moment later I saw a picture in my mind of her in Christ's arms and I felt a voice tell me, Do not worry, she is safe in my arms now.
That is when Amberlee spoke to me from her heart. She said You have to let me go. I told her that I would not, I am her mother, it is my job to fight for her, I have to fight for her. She then repeated to me...You have to let me go. This is not me, this will never be me again, you have to let me go. The voice was so mature, and so stern and matter of fact. She would not take no for an answer, but I could feel that she knew how hard it would be for me, and she could not leave until I accepted she must go. Reluctantly I whispered back in my mind, ok, I understand, I can let you go.
Immediately... an all encompassing peace filled the room. Kyle felt it too eventhough he did not yet know what I was experiencing. The peace was so strong that I knew it was ok.. that this is what should be.. and then I felt her leave us. She was gone...we could see a change in her body as it lie there on the bed...there was no doubt she was not there anymore.
Only a slight moment later I saw a picture in my mind of her in Christ's arms and I felt a voice tell me, Do not worry, she is safe in my arms now.
No comments:
Post a Comment