"Because life is fragile and death inevitable, we must make the most of each day."
President Thomas S. Monson

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

If I Had Only Known

I found a beautiful version of the song that we set to video for Amberlee's funeral. Of course, it is Reba that sings it. She has always been my favorite. Approaching this next month I wanted to share this version with you all as well as a memory. Hint: You need to pause the music at the bottom of the blog before starting the video, so it will not interfere with the video music.

I am not sure if Kyle knew the song when I played it for him. A couple nights after Amberlee passed away I had to go home. I wanted desperately to get my IPOD so that I could play this song for him. I have always been a believer that music can heal the soul, and I was singing it in my mind over and over again ever since she passed away. We went home and we got the IPOD. We then laid next to each other right before we went to bed that evening. I put one earphone in his ear, and one in mine. The song began after I told him how much I wanted to use it, and we laid there holding each other and listening. The tears began to flow because the song expresses perfectly and simply how we feel about losing her. These tears were the first true emotion I was able to express over Amberlee. I cried and cried, and my whole body shook as I realized the enormity of the situation. Kyle of course cried too, and that is when I realized that I truly forgave him. Neither of us wanted this to happen, we were just victims of unfortunate circumstances.

There is only one word of the song I would change. You were the treasure in my hand, you were the one who always (slept) beside me. It is especially dear to me because Amberlee insisted she be next to me every single night. I miss her daily, and I hope this song can bring you comfort the same as it does for me. This version has amazing emotion attached to it. Enjoy!

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